They say you go through phases when you move to a different country:
Phase One:
There is the excitement and intrigue; you want to take it all in, you are going to heighten your cultural side, visit museums, eat Danish pastries, learn the language and so much more, but soon you start realise you are going to live here so there is no rush of fitting it all into one weekend and then after that thought ...you say it again to yourself; im going to be here for awhile and the excitement disintegrates a tad
Phase Two
You have probably been here for one to two months, the cracks in the masterpiece you painted are beginning to show, why do they do that? why dont they sell this? why do they sound that way?....and it goes on. The shiny wrapping that was once around this new destination has been ripped off and a duller side is exposed.
Phase Three
Lets be realistic and positive, I'm going to be here for awhile so I might as well make the most of it. You begin to negotiate with yourself. For me, I have come in Winter( thats two Winters in a row!, enough to make a snowman pull the carrot out his face and drill it through his iceman heart)
I am also unemployed during a European crisis in a country that is proudly Danish. So let me add that load to my baggage at arrivals. And I will add another suitcase to the belt; I don't speak Danish either, not a word of it.
After having the "reality bites" converstation with yourself you start Crossing Over.
Crossing Over is what I like to call the comparing game... e.g Its Winter here :( but its Summer in Sunny South Africa :( :( and so you start depressing yourself a little further by comparig your current situations negatives with the shiny positives of home.
Phase Four
In some circumstances it could get worse before it gets better, e.g the country you are in could decide to throw you a horriffic Winter; like nothing you have ever quite experienced.
Or you could skip Phase Four (the lucky one's)
Phase Five:
Things start getting better, going through all the phases has made you grow tougher and you can really see what is going on in your life, you are transitioning. You just need to stick it through...
GRATITUDE
Welcome to the Golden phase; some people just get to phase five and never quite transcend into what I call the Golden Phase. This is the phase whereby you are in a euphoric state, life isnt perfect but its pretty good and you appreciate it for what it is. You have work, sun beams filtered through the window this morning, you are beginning to understand and appreciate the ways of the foreign place you are in, better yet; you are embracing foreign customs whole heartedly. You miss home but you are happy you took the leap and went to a different pasture to graze.
Is life greener on the other side?.....
Life is what you make of it and only you can decide that for yourself; its gonna take some guts, a strong backbone, in my case; really warm gloves, a few falls, some bitching and moaning, a bit of hurt and home sickness and a lot of frustration.
But we all have the ability to Graduate fellow expats
A lot of people who have been here 10-15 years never quite make it to phase five. Let's say that it might be possible anywhere else, but here.
ReplyDeleteDidn't mean to encourage you, but it is THAT hard.
Well said- I can identify with all the phases from my travels. I think my stubbornness not to admit that I was lonely forced me into th final phase fortunately early in my travels. That's when the fun began and I didn't look back! Realise that one day you will look back at your time abroad and you will either wish you made more of it and spent less time moping around, or you will smile at all the memories you created! This is a time of your life that you will only have once, and you will spend the rest of your life comparing to it. Make the most of it- as it seems you now are! Your home will always be there for you to go back to- sunny or not!
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